“I Thought I Was Just Sensitive”: Discovering Mental Health Underneath Personality

Introduction

For much of her life, Maya believed she was simply "too sensitive." Her friends joked that she cried at every movie, overthought every conversation, and always seemed overwhelmed by things others brushed off. She wore this identity like an ill-fitting coat—never quite comfortable but never questioned either. It wasn’t until her late 20s, during a particularly intense work burnout, that she began therapy and discovered something that reframed her entire life: she wasn’t “just sensitive.” She was living with undiagnosed anxiety.

Maya’s story isn’t rare. Many individuals internalize emotional experiences, quirks, or struggles as part of their personality, unaware that these patterns may be rooted in underlying mental health conditions. The line between “personality” and “mental health” is often blurry, especially when symptoms are normalized in families or cultures, or masked as emotional traits. I’ve worked with countless individuals like Maya who walk into my office saying, “I thought this was just who I was.” What they find is often more freeing than frightening.

Hi, I’m Rafael Achacoso, a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner based in Washington, D.C., where I specialize in ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I work with individuals—particularly young professionals and those in the LGBTQ+ community—who often carry emotional burdens for years without realizing there’s a name for what they’re experiencing. They’re not “too sensitive.” They’re human—and possibly struggling with something that’s treatable.

When Personality Masks a Mental Health Concern

Many people view personality as fixed—just the way we are. But what if your “sensitivity,” “laziness,” “perfectionism,” or “shyness” is actually a symptom? What if your lifelong self-criticism, chronic worry, or difficulty focusing isn’t a flaw in your personality, but rather a sign of anxiety, depression, or ADHD?

Here are some commonly misunderstood traits and what might lie beneath:

• “I’m just shy” → Could be social anxiety disorder

• “I’m a perfectionist” → Might reflect high-functioning anxiety or OCD tendencies

• “I’m lazy and unmotivated” → Could point to depression, executive dysfunction, or ADHD

• “I’m too emotional” → May relate to generalized anxiety, trauma response, or emotional dysregulation

• “I just need too much reassurance” → Could be a sign of attachment trauma or low self-worth shaped by past emotional neglect

None of these automatically indicate a mental health disorder, but they warrant exploration—especially if they interfere with daily life, relationships, or self-esteem.

Why We Miss the Signs

There are many reasons why mental health symptoms go unrecognized:

1. Cultural Narratives
   In some families or communities, emotional sensitivity is dismissed as weakness or dramatics. Productivity is idolized, so depression might be seen as laziness. 

2. High Functioning ≠ Healthy
   Many people with anxiety, ADHD, or depression appear outwardly successful. They’ve adapted through overachievement or people-pleasing, masking the distress underneath.

3. Misdiagnosed or Undiagnosed in Childhood
   ADHD in girls, for example, is frequently missed because it often presents as daydreaming or “being too talkative” instead of hyperactivity. Emotional sensitivity might be written off as just “being dramatic.”

4. Stigma and Self-Blame
   People don’t want to feel “broken” or “different,” so they learn to cope in silence. They internalize the problem: “I need to toughen up,” “I’m overreacting,” “I should just be grateful.”

The Power of Reframing

Discovering that your emotional experience has a name—and treatment options—can be both liberating and intimidating. But knowledge opens doors. When we shift the narrative from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me?” or “How is my brain wired?” we begin to move from shame to understanding.

Here’s what reframing might look like:

• “I’m not lazy; I struggle with executive dysfunction due to ADHD.”

• “I’m not weak; my body is responding to years of untreated anxiety.”

• “I’m not broken; I’ve adapted the best I could with the tools I had.”

This self-compassion is the beginning of healing. With the right support, traits that once felt like burdens can become manageable—and even strengths.

Real Healing Requires Looking Beneath the Surface

In my Washington, D.C. practice, I often work with young professionals who are navigating high-stress careers, relationship challenges, and complex identities. Many identify as LGBTQ+ and have learned to mask their inner struggles out of fear of stigma or rejection. They’re used to being the strong one, the responsible one, the one who holds it all together.

But inside, they’re exhausted. Their sensitivity, which once helped them empathize deeply, now leaves them emotionally depleted. Their perfectionism drives their success but also fuels their panic attacks. Their need for structure masks underlying ADHD they’ve been managing solo since childhood.

Together, we begin to untangle the threads—using psychiatric evaluation, medication when appropriate, and therapy referrals to create a personalized roadmap. Sometimes that means medication for anxiety or depression. Sometimes it’s learning emotional regulation skills or developing better sleep hygiene. Always, it includes affirming who they are, not pathologizing it.

You Deserve to Be More Than Your Survival Mode

Mental health isn’t just about diagnosis—it’s about quality of life. If you’ve spent years explaining away your distress as personality, you might be overdue for a deeper look. You deserve a life where your energy isn’t spent masking your needs, overcompensating for shame, or pushing through burnout.

Start by asking:

• Do these traits help me thrive, or do they hold me back?

• Have I been coping instead of healing?

• Is there space in my life for softness, rest, and understanding?

The answers may lead you to a new chapter one where sensitivity becomes intuition, vulnerability becomes strength, and diagnosis becomes clarity.

Final Thoughts from Rafael Achacoso, MSN, PMHNP-BC

If you’ve ever said, “I thought I was just sensitive,” I want you to know you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. Mental health conditions don’t define your worth. With the right tools and support, you can stop surviving and start truly living.

Whether you’re a high-achieving perfectionist, an exhausted empath, or someone who’s always felt “off,” your feelings are valid, and help is available. As a psychiatric nurse practitioner specializing in ADHD, anxiety, and depression, I’ve seen firsthand the transformation that happens when people stop blaming themselves and start understanding themselves.

If you're ready to explore what's underneath the labels you've carried, compassionate, stigma-free care is waiting for you.

Need Support?
If you're in the Washington, D.C. area and seeking inclusive mental health care—especially as a young professional or LGBTQ+ individual—consider reaching out for a consultation. You deserve to feel seen, heard, and supported.